life with an ostomy. candid, not sugar-coated. empowered, not embarrassed.

May 1, 2006

Is it wrong to be eagerly anticipating an ileoscopy?

Several posts ago I mentioned I was having some pain. It lasted 2-3 weeks on-and-off and although it wasn't terrible, it scared me. Shock and surprise, it went away with the arrival of a two-week vacation.

[note to self: prioritize work/life balance.]

I made an appointment with my GI and he suggested that a scope was in order, an ileoscopy. I haven't had an invasive diagnostic procedure since the ostomy surgery; MRIs, ultrasounds and CT Scans don't count. I'm talking prodding. And frankly, the prospect of prodding, invasive procedures excites me.

Given my fear of stoma rape, this might come as a shock. Um, given popular opinion and some might argue sanity, this might come as a shock. Cramming a tube with a camera mounted on the end the wrong way up my digestion tract? And I'm all "bring it on!?" It's true.

Why?

Drugs. It's true, I admit it, I am not ashamed. I am aware. It feels good. Come Tuesday, the dopey euporia I'll experience as white-clothed technicians and my gastro-enterologist float about me like hazy spirits will be the just rewards I crave for the pain I've endured. My on-going self-analysis tells me this is a problematic way of thinking about things. A reward? Like postive-reinforcement for having pain? But then again, my hedonistic nature overrides that impulse and says oh for the love of god just enjoy yourself. So I do.

2 Comments:

Blogger Ramashka said...

Dear Miss pinkbutton
when I was much younger I had a stoma..but for urine...your blog speaks out to me not because I once had to deal with those bags that would fall off if a drop got under the crappy sticky that made a ring of a pinkish-red hue..but as someone living with a chronic illness..even though all your posts are quite intresting..i found this one that hits the bullseye..you do not sound crazy when you say I enjoy surgery.Because I too cant wait until my next venture with the men in masks..no matter how scary the procedure is..all I know Is the great feeling I'll get when that mask touches my face..I will slowly slip away and at first Im scared but then i tell myself I have to just relax and enoy the next seconds...most would say its not worth those couple seconds..but Its just a couple of seconds without pain or worries..just being pure happy..even if it is surreal.

3:46 a.m., October 21, 2007

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Pink,

(I couldn't figure out how to e-mail this to you so I'm leaving it as a comment. Hopefully you'll see it and be able to respond soon)

I have an ileostomy and am going in for my first ileoscopy tomorrow. The instructions my doctor sent me say "2 Fleet enemas one to two hours before procedure". When I called the doctor's office the nurse said sometimes they want the enema inserted into the stoma. Could that possibly be right? I think that's nuts. What say you?

3:07 p.m., January 16, 2008

 

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home