life with an ostomy. candid, not sugar-coated. empowered, not embarrassed.

Apr 3, 2006

The Fear of Stoma Rape

Somewhere along the line I developed this odd but overwhelming fear that someone might rape me in my stoma. It happened when I was walking home one night, and for some reason, was having rape scenarios run through my head. I figured that if someone was sick-in-the-head enough to rape a woman, chances are the sight of my ostomy and/or lack of anus could make them do something REALLY fucked up.

Then I graphically imagined myself getting raped in the stoma. Normally I have a hard time freaking myself out, even though I have a fairly wild imagination. This time was different. The fear of getting raped in the stoma actually haunted me for a month or two.

I imagined my intestine ripping apart from the skin of my belly, blood and feces spilling everywhere, including my insides. And then the girth of the penis stretching and tearing the intestine and the hole in my skin even further. I imagined blood and feces running down the sloped ground of the hidden embankment where my crude vision took place, and being left for dead there in the cold.

I'm pretty much over the fear now. But it led me to do some research on the Internet. I came across ostomates' discussions where a girl said her boyfriend was dying to fuck her in the stoma, and one guy's professed yearning to fuck a stoma. Then I spoke with some female ostomates I know who admitted they were afraid of what I had been afraid of too.

Soft, wet, warm, tight hole... should I really be surprised?

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW. I have never had this fear (yet...) but I would imagine that, since it's technically an ORIFICE, it would qualify as a real possibility. Psychologically, I see it more as a manifestation of the vulnerability of a stoma. So perhaps having that fear in itself is a way of coping with that vulnerability. 'nest pas?

12:51 PM, April 28, 2006

 
Anonymous stress said...

Fear and stress go hand in hand. Thanks for the blog and take a look or should I say, try the free MP3 subliminal at www.innertalk.com/mp3.html#free because it really works for me.

3:14 PM, September 07, 2006

 
Anonymous anxiety said...

Forgiving, letting go--releasing fear and so on can be so difficult and yet so easy if the mind just attends to a little re-training. There are some free subliminal and hypnosis programs for these issues at www.innertalk.com and they helped me.

5:26 PM, September 13, 2006

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This does actually exist as a fetish - but not including the rape element.

But stoma "loving" can lead to infection to the soft tissue, so is not recomended.

But to help quash your fears - and attacker would have to know about them, and know that you had one, chances of getting a man who knows about them, knows you have one, has a fetish for them, and has rapist tendancies, is very very small... I hope this helps.

10:06 AM, December 04, 2007

 

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home