life with an ostomy. candid, not sugar-coated. empowered, not embarrassed.

Apr. 7, 2006

My huge underpants

Pre-surgery, I think I used to call them panties. That word no longer suffices to describe my undergarments. I hear "panties" and I think dainty and pretty. No, I wear underpants.

There was a short time when I tried to wear pretty little panties post-surgery, but I can't stand the feeling of my bag not being totally contained in a strong cotton weave. Unless it's all packed inside, gas will inevitably bulge over the top of low-riding underwear. Plus, little panties just aren't strong enough to keep my poopy bundle packed tight against me. Not that I like it super tight, but tight enough so that say, 200mL of soupy poop will be squished out somewhat evenly rather than accumulated in a clearly visibly lump-in-my-pants at the bottom of the bag.

I've slowly come to embrace and love the granny underpants I wear. My underwear drawer is filled with no less than 20, maybe 30 pairs, mostly black, but a few white ones too. Apparently, offering brilliantly-coloured or super-cute choices to consumers of this type of underwear is not a priority for the designers (yes, designers of Elita, I'm talkin' to you).

Of course, I had to get over the stigma of granny underpants. Not traditionally cool, not traditionally sexy, I've had to make them my own. It was a couple years before I could stand in front of a full length mirror and like the way I looked in them; I've even built up enough confidence to look at myself in my granny underwear and think: nice.

Now naked is a different story. I'm not sure there will ever be a day where I'll walk nude past a mirror and think my god, you sure wear that bag of shite well girl! work it! Who knows though, it has only been four years.


Anonymous Michele said...

I too love the "granny panties"! This is something that I never ever thought that I would be saying 5 months ago pre-ileostomy!!
I am really enjoying reading your blog-- I feel the same way about so many things!

4:20 p.m., April 28, 2006


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