life with an ostomy. candid, not sugar-coated. empowered, not embarrassed.

Feb. 8, 2010

All the little pieces, jumbled, with some promise

That's how my life feels right now - with all it's different elements. Like it's all going to come together, but I don't know how. All these burgeoning bits and pieces of my life - some things are starting to take shape - they feel natural. Or, I feel like I belong. Or, I don't know. Sometimes they feel unnatural still, but I think it's all gonna shake out in the not too distant future.

All these different elements are going to somehow come together... around me.

Choir, me singing.
Honking, on the harmonica.
Getting fit and focused at the Y.
Writing, for me, for some papers.
Playing with paints, other arty stuff.
Speaking my french, ecouter, parler le francais
Feeding the birds?
Gettin' hitched, dreaming creatively about it, making plans for the party.
Seeking out storytellers from my neighbourhood and recording them.
Planting stuff - getting more interested in plant life. Seeds! Worms!
Seeking women I like. Talking shamelessly, digging, exploring, loving.
Taking time for meditation - how long will this Buddhist thing last?

These things are all getting layered on top of the more basic needs I've managed to meet. Like love and trust, and security. A good place to live, good food to eat. I am no longer hustling for work all the time - I recently hooked up with a decently-paying part-time gig - I finally have some reliable income again, and a regular schedule.

At the same time, none of this is me, and all of this is me. It's amazing what I can create around me - the bits and pieces I have sniffed out and chosen since moving to this new city. If I look at each little piece, I can trace the threads back further into my life. Oh, it all makes sense. It starts to make sense.