life with an ostomy. candid, not sugar-coated. empowered, not embarrassed.

May 18, 2006

Can't get no satisfaction

Sometimes I stall on going to the toilet. Last night I was watching a movie with someone and I didn't want to ask them to pause it so I could crap. I kept thinking I would just empty it when the movie was over. Then the movie went on forever.

My bag was almost full-blimp-size at the end of the movie, and I had to support it with both hands while manoeuvring myself off the couch when the credits were finally rolling up the screen.

But my legs always start to ache for some reason when I do this to myself. Maybe they get tense because I have to hold my body a certain way to support the bag. I also had a tough time concentrating the on the movie because I kept trying to calculate whether or not there was going to be enough room in the bag before the end of the movie.

It's really dumb that I don't just go when I need to go. How hard would it have been to just say, "hey, hang on... I gotta go empty my bag?" Not hard.

But there's such a difference between that feeling 'of nature calling' I remember from back in the anus-days and the more nagging and annoying 'call' of a full bag. Instead of getting that physical satisfaction from releasing a good rectal dump, I'm now left with the entirely unsatisfactory and mechanical unfastening of my bag, splooshing out it's contents, wiping, and re-rolling. Whoop-di-frickin' doo. No wonder I put it off.

Oh what I would give to experience the satisfaction of taking huge dumps again, especially the super-liquidy ass explosions! Those were the days...


Anonymous Jim "Drmrboy" from said...

"Super Liquidy Ass-Explosions!" LOL TOO FUNNY! Thax for the laugh = )

8:36 a.m., May 25, 2006


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