life with an ostomy. candid, not sugar-coated. empowered, not embarrassed.

Jan. 16, 2007

Obsess much?

What was I thinking? Was I really so upset about low-riding pants that I was going to drop $200 on couture jeans? I couldn't really even give a good definition of couture... and I don't care enough to look it up.

What, if anything, did I learn from my high school days if not damn fine pants for dirt cheap prices can be found at Value Village? All it takes is hours of rifling through granny pants, skinny capris, and weird jeans with too many pockets all over them, and then being overcome by static cling in a change stall where you can only try 5 items on at a time, a dumb rule which I broke. tee hee!

Did I find one pair of jeans I like? No! I found two! And... I found 4 more pairs of pants, about 8 shirts, and 2 cute nighties. Yay me. I love my second-hand shopping skills.

I spent $115 and am revelling in my new wardrobe.

But I had a revelation tonight when I sat down to organize the shelf I keep my pants on. I didn't count how many I have, but I can see the shelf from where I sit now, and a rough estimate is that I have 20 pairs of pants, including the new-to-me ones, but not including the other 5 or so pairs hanging in my closet, nor the stack of 5 chill pants I wear on lazy days, nor the fine pair that graces my lounging ass as I write. oh, and of course, not my PJ bottoms, or shorts.

The revelation is that I have developed an obsession with finding pants that "fit" my ostomy so much that I am never satisfied and am always on the lookout. Like I always put my self into horrid pant-shopping experiences, despite the fact I often lose self esteem and get pissy when all I see in stores are pants that would make me look ridiculous, and despite the fact I have more than 30 pants.

I asked myself what the hell am I doing when I rarely have an i-can't-find-a-pair-of-pants-to-wear day, and even better, scarcely live through an oh-my-god-i-can't-believe-i-wore-these-pants-today day.

I'm glad I had my spree and am the happy owner of lots of pants I feel okay about wearing. But for me, the out-of-control pant-shopping buck stops here.


Blogger Diego said...

after years of shopping only at value village, thrift stores, and vintage shops, i bought my first brand new, abercrombie and fitch clothing item two months ago (albeit from a surplus shop). a hoodie. six months of travelling and navel-gazing have forced me to sort out my priorities and my politics. being a 5'4" man is not as big a deal as having an ostomy, but i've decided now: if it feels good, looks good, and is reasonably cheap, i'm going to buy it. i'm going to save my righteous anger and disdain for something more worthwhile.

9:08 a.m., January 21, 2007


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